LOVE FRIENDS

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 13: Galentines

Happy Galentines day!!!

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I’m not around my gal pals right now, long distance relationships suck. Nevertheless, today is the day I share about how much I love my GALS & PALS. (Pals are guy-friends that I am also in love with.)

I’m not going to tell you WHO EXACTLY these people are, but I’ll just let you know that I love them. I even have a pact with one of them that we’d get married if we aren’t married by 40. One of those kinda friends.

I’ve always spoiled my friends. Once I started getting a paycheck, I always bought presents every Christmas for every person in this close group of friends. Sometimes I get specific presents for people, one friend I have gets a new vinyl every Valentines Day… because I love them.

These are the people whose children will be calling me Auntie. The people I make pacts with, and plan on traveling the world with. Their love fullfills the love I don’t get from being in a relationship… (How lonely does that make me sound??? very.)

I JUST HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE!!!!

I can’t really share much without giving away who these people are, but I am honestly & truly in love with them. The loves of my life forever. Its awesome being able to have these people to go to when things in my life go wrong. There’s nothing like being in major friend-love.

P.S. I strive to be the Leslie Knope of my friend group.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 10: Dream Size

When I was in middle school, I planned out my entire high school career. The summer after 8th grade I took a summer class (by choice) so by the time I was a senior I would have completed all the health science courses, including the technical ones. I remember getting that course sheet plan in middle school, and my goal was to graduate high school with a CNA license and work as a CNA while I was in college. I executed every class since then, got great grades, and even planned to become an officer of the health science club (I was the president my senior year). All my plans had fallen into place and I was doing great.

The only problem is, I didn’t plan on changing my mind.

I had all of this set up, I thought I knew what I wanted…. and then I realized that I didn’t even want to be a nurse. After doing the clinical rotations and following doctors and nurses around, I couldn’t do that for too long… I would get so tired of it. Because who knows me better than myself?

Now I’m here, trying to figure out what I want to go to school for and what I want to do. I’ve developed dreams and ideas that I want to pan out so badly. Some of them are big, others are small, but each deserved their own love and attention.

I have big dreams of business running around in my brain. Working with a small business in their main office made me think, “I could totally do that.” Obviously dreams like that take lots of time, planning, and money, but for those things to happen I have to work hard now.

But, there are things that I want that aren’t so out of reach…

For example: I really want a pug. Like, how cute are those little guys? They all have their own personalities, with their smushed faces and weird barking. Whats not to love?

When I need inspiration to keep working hard and saving money, I’ll think to myself,

“Hey, if I don’t work hard now… how am I going to provide for my future pug!?”

These dreams of business and pug ownership are definitely not on the same level, but they both need to be worked for. I can dream about my future apartment (& I already know EXACTLY how I want it to be…) but if I keep dreaming about it, it’ll just stay a dream! The way I think about it is, no matter the dream, big or small, each day you have to work hard and work on yourself in order for those dreams to EVER become a reality.

My love for myself and the measures I take to care for my mental hygiene was not something that just kind of popped up in my mind to do. Taking each day one step at a time, I’ve realized that I’ve grown so much already just this past year!

So, what I’m saying is… I need to work hard  because I love and care about myself. I can do it! I can make it happen! I WILL have a pug in the future! I WILL save money, work hard, and finally have my own place to start my vinyl collection. Everything will fall into place if I strive for it to.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 8: Enjoy The Ride

Everything happens for a reason.

That is something I’ve been told countless times. Never did I think that the things I went to were connected to the growth I have experienced now. I remember things that happened to me as a kid, my thoughts and dreams. These dreams are slowly coming to a reality, and I didn’t notice that the heartache and struggle that I go through now will create a better version of me in the future.

I am here, living in California. Making music, meeting amazing people, and learning more about myself everyday. Thoughts of the past and the future have rattled around in my brain for months. What’s going to happen? Why did that happen? It doesn’t matter, it already did.

Dreams and goals are so quick to excite us that we fall in love with that idea of the end goal. Each day you are going through things to reach your goal, the way that you pursue and fight through each struggle will determine how you will grow. Eventually, the person you wanted to become will blossom, but that will only happen if you carefully take care of the person you are each day. And what freedom & happiness that will bring you.

Focusing on the moment, enjoying it with every fiber in my being, and working hard to take another step up to my end goal… that’s how I will know my own definition of success, happiness, and love.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 5: You’re Talking A Lot, But I Like It…

As I have gotten older, my tolerance for people has shrunk. I usually have to be the one to initiate conversations and such, which gets boring after a while. It’s come to the point that now I try not to talk too much to new people. My social life is very weird these days…

Although, I do have a couple of friends that I talk to regularly, and those are the people I know that usually talk more than me. Which I absolutely adore. I love it when one of my friends gets really excited about something that they’re going to do, or when they go on and on about a topic they really like to talk about. Sometimes, I don’t even have to talk. They’ll just talk and talk about something, anything.

These are the friends I learn cool things from, and the people I like to spend the most time with if possible. It makes my heart happy to see their smile light up when they’re excited to tell me something. It always makes me that more eager to hear what they have to say.

Or maybe I just like seeing my friends smile… 🙂

Peace & Love,
Riza.

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 3: Friends

Friendship is a lot more important than I thought. The people that I care about outside of family, that I love just like family. Whether they stay in my life for a little bit or for a long time, I consider my friends to be my family while growing up.

When things in life were complicated, I was always able to reach out to the few close friends and spill my problems out on the table. The only people I really share my vulnerability with, or the people I talk about random topics with. Ever wanted to share your theories about how the world is being shaped by the media? I have a friend to talk to. Maybe I feel sad, but I know I have someone to lean on. They keep me in check. They remind me that life doesn’t have to be serious all the time, and laughing is okay.

Sometimes we just talk about dumb TV shows or music.

(other times we just have really… weird conversations…)

I don’t have much more to say about that. I just love my friends, the very few that I have. Always there for them, whether or not they can return the favor. I probably love some of my friends more than I will love any significant other in my life. That is the truth.

Oh well.

If you wanna be my lover….

(You gotta get with my friends)

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 1: Changing

It’s been exactly 1 year since I started the Define Love Project. As I look back on the Instagram posts of last year, I can’t help but see how I have documented my personal growth over this past year. My perspective on life & love has changed, and will continue to do so as I keep living. I have lost friends, lost love, and lost hope in myself and the world that I felt was crumbling around me.

This time last year I would depend on the people around me to find love, which is never a bad thing. Although now I would say I have a definite increase in love for myself. Learning more about who I am, not who I would strive to be for others. I now understand that losing friends and lovers is okay, healthy even. Life is all about living & changing constantly.

As time proceeded, I have become much more independent. The person I have grown into is so visibly different from the person I was last year, and I have come to accept the person I am becoming.

Accepting change is love.

Changing in itself is love.

As you or the people you love continue to change and grow, its okay to admit that being apart of their life isn’t whats best. Love is more than just holding on, its knowing when its the right time to cut some slack. I know for a fact I was in love last year. The happiness that this person brought to me was something I could only dream of. We are both in the peak of change, and I now realize that we have grown out of each other…and that is okay.

Letting go of that deep love was heartbreaking, but I now understand why it needed to happen. I find peace in knowing that I will be happier, and I will find that kind of love again.

I’m changing, I’m growing, I’m moving around and trying to figure out who I am & what I want to do with my life. I know what I need to work on in myself, I must be patient and know that these changes will come whether I like them or not. Changing things about yourself to what you feel is the best for you, is loving yourself. You have control over that, and, although it may come with time, you will continue to grow into the person you choose to be.

Peace & Love,

Riza

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