FRIENDS

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 13: Galentines

Happy Galentines day!!!

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I’m not around my gal pals right now, long distance relationships suck. Nevertheless, today is the day I share about how much I love my GALS & PALS. (Pals are guy-friends that I am also in love with.)

I’m not going to tell you WHO EXACTLY these people are, but I’ll just let you know that I love them. I even have a pact with one of them that we’d get married if we aren’t married by 40. One of those kinda friends.

I’ve always spoiled my friends. Once I started getting a paycheck, I always bought presents every Christmas for every person in this close group of friends. Sometimes I get specific presents for people, one friend I have gets a new vinyl every Valentines Day… because I love them.

These are the people whose children will be calling me Auntie. The people I make pacts with, and plan on traveling the world with. Their love fullfills the love I don’t get from being in a relationship… (How lonely does that make me sound??? very.)

I JUST HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE!!!!

I can’t really share much without giving away who these people are, but I am honestly & truly in love with them. The loves of my life forever. Its awesome being able to have these people to go to when things in my life go wrong. There’s nothing like being in major friend-love.

P.S. I strive to be the Leslie Knope of my friend group.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 3: Friends

Friendship is a lot more important than I thought. The people that I care about outside of family, that I love just like family. Whether they stay in my life for a little bit or for a long time, I consider my friends to be my family while growing up.

When things in life were complicated, I was always able to reach out to the few close friends and spill my problems out on the table. The only people I really share my vulnerability with, or the people I talk about random topics with. Ever wanted to share your theories about how the world is being shaped by the media? I have a friend to talk to. Maybe I feel sad, but I know I have someone to lean on. They keep me in check. They remind me that life doesn’t have to be serious all the time, and laughing is okay.

Sometimes we just talk about dumb TV shows or music.

(other times we just have really… weird conversations…)

I don’t have much more to say about that. I just love my friends, the very few that I have. Always there for them, whether or not they can return the favor. I probably love some of my friends more than I will love any significant other in my life. That is the truth.

Oh well.

If you wanna be my lover….

(You gotta get with my friends)

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 2: Trial & Error

Heartbreak sucks, pain sucks.

But, it’s a part of life.

And also a sign that you are living.

Relationships and friendships come and go, and whether they end on good terms or not we always relate the end as something negative. I personally have a fear of losing people, which is something I’m slowly getting over. On yesterday’s post I talked about the changes we go through as we grow, and that knowing when to cut relationships loose is a sign of love.

Love is a complicated feeling; it can make you happy or totally destroy you emotionally. It’s love to want to keep friends around, its love to be heartbroken when someone leaves you. When things are changing and people leave our lives, it’s our job to take something out of those relationships.

We constantly regret relationships that end, blaming ourselves for being dumb and careless. How could let this happen? What did  do wrong? When in reality, we do not control the way others think, or the actions that they do to hurt us. We may have given more love, or given less love, than the other person. Sometimes things don’t work out, but everything happens for a reason.

I strive to not regret the things that I’ve done or the relationships that have fallen through. Every relationship is a trial & error, maybe I gave more, maybe I didn’t give enough. I learn what I want or what I need to change after each ended relationship or friendship, and then my standards go up. If I have deep feelings for someone I know that if there is another person, they have to make me feel something similar or more; even when I thought it couldn’t get better.

I’m allowing myself to be happy, whether things work out or not in the future. I’ve learned from someone that it’s better to enjoy the moment now than worry about what the future of that friendship or relationships holds. I’m happy that I have been letting myself be happy, there is no need to put myself through anymore pain.

It’s all a process of trial and error.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 1: Changing

It’s been exactly 1 year since I started the Define Love Project. As I look back on the Instagram posts of last year, I can’t help but see how I have documented my personal growth over this past year. My perspective on life & love has changed, and will continue to do so as I keep living. I have lost friends, lost love, and lost hope in myself and the world that I felt was crumbling around me.

This time last year I would depend on the people around me to find love, which is never a bad thing. Although now I would say I have a definite increase in love for myself. Learning more about who I am, not who I would strive to be for others. I now understand that losing friends and lovers is okay, healthy even. Life is all about living & changing constantly.

As time proceeded, I have become much more independent. The person I have grown into is so visibly different from the person I was last year, and I have come to accept the person I am becoming.

Accepting change is love.

Changing in itself is love.

As you or the people you love continue to change and grow, its okay to admit that being apart of their life isn’t whats best. Love is more than just holding on, its knowing when its the right time to cut some slack. I know for a fact I was in love last year. The happiness that this person brought to me was something I could only dream of. We are both in the peak of change, and I now realize that we have grown out of each other…and that is okay.

Letting go of that deep love was heartbreaking, but I now understand why it needed to happen. I find peace in knowing that I will be happier, and I will find that kind of love again.

I’m changing, I’m growing, I’m moving around and trying to figure out who I am & what I want to do with my life. I know what I need to work on in myself, I must be patient and know that these changes will come whether I like them or not. Changing things about yourself to what you feel is the best for you, is loving yourself. You have control over that, and, although it may come with time, you will continue to grow into the person you choose to be.

Peace & Love,

Riza

About the Cutie behind Caramel Cult

Meet Persephone (Isn’t that name just so beautiful?). A cutie from England, film and music enthusiast, and the voice behind the awesome new podcast Caramel Cult ! She talks about her favorite music, shows, poetry, and feminism, creating an awesome place for girls to talk about art!  Here, we talk to her about Caramel Cult, as well as some personal things about the angel herself, and, of course, about love!

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How old are you?

19.

 

What is Caramel Cult and why did you start it?

Caramel Cult is a podcast that I started because I wanted an excuse to talk about movies, books, music, poetry, feminism, or whatever was on my mind at the time. I often describe it as ‘the cult podcast for arty girls’, but I feel as if that’s not actually the best definition. Basically, it’s a space for anybody who wants to share their art and thoughts with a collective of creative people.

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What are you going to school for? Why?

I’m going to university to study English Literature and Film – which is basically the ideal degree for me! At first I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to study English Lit or Film because they’re both so important to me, but then I realised that choosing one over the other seemed wrong somehow. So I decided to study them both!

 

What was your internship about?

I worked as a blogger and social media intern at a wedding directory / magazine / online planner. Most of my time was spent running their social media accounts and writing for the blog, but I also spent lots of time creating Pinterest boards and Instagramming pretty photos.

 

What is your inspiration? How do you stay motivated?

I’m inspired by strong women. I grew up surrounded by women, so nothing makes me feel more capable than seeing a totally empowered woman living her life however she chooses and rejecting the expectations that men laid out for her. When it comes to staying motivated, I make sure I’m surrounded by art and writing that I love. If I’m ever stuck in a creative rut, all I have to do is see a great film or read a great sentence and I know I’ll feel that drive to start creating things again.

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What are you passionate about and why? 

I’m passionate about anything that helps me make sense of the world a little bit more. For me, I usually find this in films and writing, but it can be any form of creative expression. I decided a while ago that the reason I’m so drawn to art is because it’s the only way that I can really exist in the world. I need to immerse myself in other universes to be able to see reality clearly and understand it. I think that’s why film and literature speak to me so much. But, in a less superficial sense, I’m passionate about fairness. Nothing hurts me more than injustice. That’s what really keeps me up at night.

 

Where do you find love in your life?

I find love in my family, my friends and in animals. More and more these days, I find a lot of love within myself.

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How do you practice self-love?

To be honest I often find it difficult to practice self-love. We’re taught from such an early age that it’s more acceptable to hate yourself than love yourself, and to notice your flaws instead of your strengths. This has definitely had a negative effect on me, just like it has for girls all over the world. I try to overcome this every day and counter any negative thoughts about myself with kindness. Whether it’s eating a healthy meal or going for a walk in the countryside, I try to practice self love by nurturing myself.

 

How do you define love?

For me, love is freedom and truth.

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A big thank you to Persephone for letting us do the interview! We had a lot about fun getting to know her! You can check out her podcast here and her instagram here !

We hope you enjoyed this interview as much as we did! Stay tuned, cause we have some more awesome friends about love with!

Peace & Love,

Clariza

Send Us Submissions

Hey there lovelies! We are now opening up submissions! Send us submissions of your art, music, writing, and stuff about what YOU love! If it’s what we’re looking for, we’ll get your submission up on our project! 🙂

For the Love of Music: Friend Favorites

Hey guys! So, we have started a new series we like to call “For the love of Music”. This series if all about music, maybe concert updates, musicians, playlists/ mixtapes that we make for you guys. This FTLOM post is called “Friend Favorites”, where we ask some of our friends what their favorie songs are and why! Here’s what they said:

 

“What is your favorite love song and why?”

 

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Paula: Helplessly by Tatiana Manaois

 

“So I’ve been holding answering this question off since you asked me a couple of days ago, cause I couldn’t think of a top favorite love song because all I listen to ever is sad love songs. But I guess I’m gonna go with Helplessly by Tatiana Manaois. This song can either make me feel the happiest, or it can make me feel completely heartbroken. I relate to this song so much because Tatiana talks about this person that she’s falling for but they’re not together, because they keep “playing games” or she feels like their non-relationship relationship isn’t going anywhere. It’s like a one way relationship, and she knows she should leave but she feels like there’s still a chance with that person or that no matter how much you try to not like that person, you can’t help but just fall for them. I feel like this song is a representation of hope and chance of having that one person you’ve helplessly fallen for will finally feel the same for you. Or it could be the complete opposite, that you know that it’s time to let go of that person who will never be ready for you.”

 

Anonymous Friend: Too Long by Tennyson

“This song was sent to me last year from my best-friend at the time. We both met the “right person at the wrong time”, needless to say. We both liked each other, but we didn’t want to do anything on impulse, so we remained best friends. As far as the story, and the song. We aren’t best-friends anymore. Because things changed and so did we”

 

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Jordyn: How Love’s Made by Jaime Woods

“How Love’s Made speaks of the old time love that every relationship and partnership strives for – the love that has grown deeper and deeper with many years together. It includes my favorite love song lyric: “I’ve found a love to outrun the sky when you put your heart next to mine.” This song reminds me of the love of my life and the sweet, understanding, patient love we have grown to provide for each other. With that true love, you can outrun the sky and get through any obstacle.”

 

 

 

MLjFZyz-.jpgApril (On the right): Baby I’m Yours by Actric Monkeys

“Baby I’m Yours by Arctic Monkeys cause it’s fucking lit and chill and I just love the vibes it gives off and it’s just very relaxing and sweet and everything about it makes me feel like love is eternal and endless and everything good in this world and its true, I’m probs gonna be Clara’s forever :)”

 

 

 

 

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Clara: Our Day Will Come by Amy Winehouse

“Oh definitely Our Day Will Come( the Amy Winehouse version). It’s a really short but lovely song. It talks about how even though the odds may be against the two lovers at the present time, everything will fall into place in the end because of their love and affection for each other. And I’ve just always loved the idea that love can and will withstand anything”

 

 

 

 

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Kiana: Can’t Help Falling in Love with You by Elvis Presley

“I think my favorite love song would have to be Can’t Help Falling in Love with you by Elvis Presley. When I was little my dad used to sing this song to me on his old guitar. He would use his best Elvis voice and put a dash of his own style in it too. I loved listening and watching him sing. A few months ago he sang that song that same way for the first time in years and it made me so happy. It made me think of how most people relate this song to their boyfriend/girlfriend but for me I feel like my dad was always trying to tell me that he really could not help falling in love with me. Im his little girl and he’ll love me no matter what. He’s shown me what love looks like and when I’m with someone it should feel like that. It should feel like endless,continuous love. That’s another thing that love is. Love is when you just can’t help loving that person.”

 

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Jeremy: In The Name of Love by Martin Garrix and Bebe Rexah

“For me, “In the name of love” by Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha, is my favorite love song right now. The whole point of the song is about wanting to see if someone will stick it out with you, validation of love, trusting in love, and most of all, knowing that love is pure and worth it all in the end.Theres a line that really sticks out and its “I wanna testify, scream in the holy light, you bring me back to life, and it’s all in the name of love”.. like for me, its basically saying that this love is a religion, through all the hardships and struggles, its still worth it.”

 

 

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Clariza: Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You by Lauryn Hill

“This is whole album is very near and dear to my heart, but this song specifically has its own half. Its funky, fun, and honest, this version is so different from the original. I love this song with all my heart. When I first met the man I’m in a relationship with now, we went to a hookah bar and this song played. I sang along with it. I even danced (note: I am a terrible dancer), this album helped me find my confidence in my silliness and my voice. It was introduced to me my sophmrore year in high school by another guy I had feelings for at the time, but I feel like this song has grown with me. The more I listen to it, the more I can feel it in my soul. There’s just something about it that gets me.” 

 

 

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Zariya: If I should Die Tonight by Marvin Gaye

“My favorite love song is “if I should die tonight” by Marvin Gaye. it’s so smooth and sexy, but also so pure in the way that it depicts a man so in love that he is no longer afraid of death because he at least has had the chance to live, breathe, and exist beside his lover. That’s love in its truest form.”

 

 

 

 

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Ral: Adorn by Miguel

“Ok soooo. Adorn by Miguel is one of my favorite love songs out there if not my favorite because of MULTIPLE REASONS. The first one being that I was introduced to this song through a choreo video by the one and only Andre Baterina. LOOOORD I loved the choreo so much and I still do. I remember watching the choreo video during the peak height of my tumblr days. I’m talking about hypebeast fashion, Diamond, obey, hypebeast dance videos, obsession with owning a DSLR and attempting to take pictures solely for the improvement of your tumblr game and fuckyeahsexyasians HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK…well yeah. In the video, Andrew Baterina is sporting a SnapBack and a dress shirt with a bow tie (bow ties were prevalent within the tumblr hypebeast community…I’m sure you remember) and a khaki jacket and I was just like WOW. I LOVE THIS. I remember wanting to learn the choreo but it was always too hard for me so I decided to have my own take on it. I performed it during my first Diversity Night at my high school and it took my whole social life and popularity to whole other level. I made so many friends I still keep in touch every now and then and made the lasting impression during the rest of my high school years as the school’s best dancer HAHAHA. Another reason why I love this song so much is because I associated the song with the feelings I had for this girl. The song felt like the manifestation of the burning sensation I had for this girl whenever I saw her smile, saw her through the hallways, whenever we talked etc etc. Miguel made it possible with Adorn to put my feelings into a picture in my head where I’m like dancing in front of her or something HAHAHA. I really liked this girl. LIKE. I REALLYYYYY LIKED THIS GIRL. And just the lyrics really hit home when he goes “LET MY LOVE ADORN YOUUUU” cause you know. That’s what I wanna doooooo. Or like. That’s what I wanted to do. The feelings weren’t reciprocated but the song wasn’t ruined or anything. If anything, the song reminds me of how sprung I was and how much I really cared for this person and it’s just like a rush of feelings and nostalgic memories that I could relive and not want it to change anyway or any how. LIKE YOOOOOO. This girl yooooo. She’s one of the first people that got me sooooo so sprung like. LIKE SERIOUSLY SPRUNG. LIKE PLS LET ME HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER AND ILL BE SO GOOD TO HER AND ALL THAT. She was Muslim and so like I was even willing to give up pork and bacon which is you knoooow, a staple meat in a Filipino household/culture. So yeah HAHAHA. I love this song so much cause I don’t feel that way anymore. Or like. I don’t get that sprung as much anymore. And that sucks. Cause having someone you passionately like like that is a totally overwhelming and otherworldly feeling. And Adorn really just brings me back to that young Ral who was happier and who had this softer heart and didn’t have such a hard time learning to love someone. And it was never all that shallow love either. I miss that. SO YA. That’s all.”

 

 

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Lauren: Belly of the Deepest Love by Tow’rs

“So since I’m not currently in and have never been in a romantic relationship, my favorite love song has more metaphorical and spiritual meaning to me. It’s called Belly of the Deepest Love by a small band called Tow’rs. When I first heard the song I could only catch parts and thought it was a typical guy / girl love song, some of the lines saying, “I need something to hold onto” and “oh how you wished to be with me.” But when I listened to it closely, I realized it was a love song about a man who sacrificed everything for the people he loves. A love so pure and steadfast, and a sacrifice so redeeming and complete, that the “hills trembling throats sing hallelujah.” That love is, I believe, the most inherently beautiful story that can be told, or song that can be sung. So yeah. It’s just a lovely song, and I never get tired of it. :)”

 

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Kyrie: 7 Years by Lucas Graham

“My favorite “Love Song” is 7 years By Lucas Graham. This song to me is more than just a song- this song tells a story. From a young fellow, to a adolescent man, to a middle aged man, to a very old wise man. Lucas Graham is somewhere in the age of 20-25. I haven’t really looked him up, but this is merely about the song and what it means to me. Because of this song, time is what bothers me. I could be anywhere in this world, but I ended up being here; in the navy, 2 o’clock in the morning, laying down and telling you about how I feel about this song. Because of this song, I get scared because time can’t tell how much you have left to live, when you’re going to find love, or how long love will last. Time can’t control your life. Only you can control your life. Only you can find yourself love and learn from it. “Once I was 7 years old.” We’ve lived that moment. How long do we have? What I’ve learned about the idea of this song, is to live your life to the fullest. As much as it has been said, it hasn’t really been done. We restrict ourselves from living our lives. Because we’re scared. But if you let fear control you, you won’t ever experience that specific moment. What I’ve learned from a dear beloved of mine is that love is over fear.”