Define Love Project 2017 || Day 8: Enjoy The Ride

Everything happens for a reason.

That is something I’ve been told countless times. Never did I think that the things I went to were connected to the growth I have experienced now. I remember things that happened to me as a kid, my thoughts and dreams. These dreams are slowly coming to a reality, and I didn’t notice that the heartache and struggle that I go through now will create a better version of me in the future.

I am here, living in California. Making music, meeting amazing people, and learning more about myself everyday. Thoughts of the past and the future have rattled around in my brain for months. What’s going to happen? Why did that happen? It doesn’t matter, it already did.

Dreams and goals are so quick to excite us that we fall in love with that idea of the end goal. Each day you are going through things to reach your goal, the way that you pursue and fight through each struggle will determine how you will grow. Eventually, the person you wanted to become will blossom, but that will only happen if you carefully take care of the person you are each day. And what freedom & happiness that will bring you.

Focusing on the moment, enjoying it with every fiber in my being, and working hard to take another step up to my end goal… that’s how I will know my own definition of success, happiness, and love.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 7: Love Yourself

(Sorry I didn’t post yesterday my laptop crashed & I had to get it replaced… :P)

This in itself is a WHOLE OTHER SUBJECT.

Also something that is repeated that is over & over & over.

For me personally, loving myself is being patient with myself and learning how to be independent. Keeping myself up is a lot more difficult than I thought. I have days, weeks really, where I will feel emotionally dead and stuck in this rut of intense negative emotion. Sometimes I can bring myself out of it right away, other times its like I’m drowning.

Apparently Ā I thrive off of human interaction…but I’ve been alone way too often. Being alone this often has taught me a lot about myself. I feel like I haven’t been this in touch with who I am before, and I know for sure that I still have so much more to learn. My body and soul need conditioning, which are both things I’ve been working on everyday. I also need to learn how to deal with my finances better… There are so many different ways to take care of/love yourself, and I can’t really touch base on all of it.

Knowing when to stand up for yourself, making sure you’re treated with respect, understanding that you are aren’t at the end yet, things get better eventually. Anything can happen, and everything happens for a reason.

I can’t think of anything else to type.

Love yo’self

Treat yo’self

Writing everyday is getting pretty difficult, but it’s really all for me… a reminder for myself that all I need is love.

Peace & Love,

Riza

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 5: You’re Talking A Lot, But I Like It…

As I have gotten older, my tolerance for people has shrunk. I usually have to be the one to initiate conversations and such, which gets boring after a while. It’s come to the point that now I try not to talk too much to new people. My social life is very weird these days…

Although, I do have a couple of friends that I talk to regularly, and those are the people I know that usually talk more than me. Which I absolutely adore. I love it when one of my friends gets really excited about something that they’re going to do, or when they go on and on about a topic they really like to talk about. Sometimes, I don’t even have to talk. They’ll just talk and talk about something, anything.

These are the friends I learn cool things from, and the people I like to spend the most time with if possible. It makes my heart happy to see their smile light up when they’re excited to tell me something. It always makes me that more eager to hear what they have to say.

Or maybe I just like seeing my friends smile… šŸ™‚

Peace & Love,
Riza.

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 4: I’m My Own Best Friend

How sad and pitiful does that sound? It’s definitely true, but it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to me. I’ve learned to be comfortable going days without hanging out with anyone. Most weekends I don’t even talk to anyone or make plans. I just wake up and think of something to do. Maybe I want to learn how to cook something, maybe I want to go to the beach, sometimes I just drive and listen to full length albums from start to finish.

I used to always want to be around people. My energy usually came from being around other people. It sucks not having that kind of group to go to anymore, but I’ll find a good group of friends when I’m supposed to. In the mean time, I’ve been learning a lot about myself. The main struggle I had during this past year was figuring out who I was. I felt that my interests were influenced by the people around me, and now there was no one around me to make me feel something.

Spending this much time alone fixed that right away. I quickly learned how to be okay with going out alone all the time. I found my favorite places to get coffee, I figured out where I would be able to play music for people, and I wrote more music than I ever had before. I know that I like to make playlists of songs that make me feel a certain way, and that when I play them back I get the same feeling.

When I struggle emotionally, I know what I need to pick myself up. It’s made me stronger, and a lot more emotionally independent. I know who I am, I know things about myself that I want to fix, and what I don’t want to fix. I do love myself, which is an awesome thing to feel. I’m comfortable with myself.

Besides, one day I’ll find the right person to wake up with chocolate chip pancakes… for now I’ll just make some for myself. (More for meeee)

Love yo’self.

Peace & Love,

Riza

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 3: Friends

Friendship is a lot more important than I thought. The people that I care about outside of family, that I love just like family. Whether they stay in my life for a little bit or for a long time, I consider my friends to be my family while growing up.

When things in life were complicated, I was always able to reach out to the few close friends and spill my problems out on the table. The only people I really share my vulnerability with, or the people I talk about random topics with. Ever wanted to share your theories about how the world is being shaped by the media? I have a friend to talk to. Maybe I feel sad, but I know I have someone to lean on. They keep me in check. They remind me that life doesn’t have to be serious all the time, and laughing is okay.

Sometimes we just talk about dumb TV shows or music.

(other times we just have really… weird conversations…)

I don’t have much more to say about that. I just love my friends, the very few that I have. Always there for them, whether or not they can return the favor. I probably love some of my friends more than I will love any significant other in my life. That is the truth.

Oh well.

If you wanna be my lover….

(You gotta get with my friends)

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 2: Trial & Error

Heartbreak sucks, pain sucks.

But, it’s a part of life.

And also a sign that you are living.

Relationships and friendships come and go, and whether they end on good terms or not we always relate the end as something negative. I personally have a fear of losing people, which is something I’m slowly getting over. On yesterday’s post I talked about the changes we go through as we grow, and that knowing when to cut relationships loose is a sign of love.

Love is a complicated feeling; it can make you happy or totally destroy you emotionally. It’s love to want to keep friends around, its love to be heartbroken when someone leaves you. When things are changing and people leave our lives, it’s our job to take something out of those relationships.

We constantly regret relationships that end, blaming ourselves for being dumb and careless. How couldĀ IĀ let this happen? What didĀ IĀ  do wrong? When in reality, we do not control the way others think, or the actions that they do to hurt us. We may have given more love, or given less love, than the other person. Sometimes things don’t work out, but everything happens for a reason.

I strive to not regret the things that I’ve done or the relationships that have fallen through. Every relationship is a trial & error, maybe I gave more, maybe I didn’t give enough. I learn what I want or what I need to change after each ended relationship or friendship, and then my standards go up. If I have deep feelings for someone I know that if there is another person, they have to make me feel something similar or more; even when I thought it couldn’t get better.

I’m allowing myself to be happy, whether things work out or not in the future. I’ve learned from someone that it’s better to enjoy the moment now than worry about what the future of that friendship or relationships holds. I’m happy that I have been letting myself be happy, there is no need to put myself through anymore pain.

It’s all a process of trial and error.

Peace & Love,

Riza

 

Define Love Project 2017 || Day 1: Changing

It’s been exactly 1 year since I started the Define Love Project. As I look back on theĀ InstagramĀ posts of last year, I can’t help but see how I have documented my personal growth over this past year. My perspective on life & love has changed, and will continue to do so as I keep living. I have lost friends, lost love, and lost hope in myself and the world that I felt was crumbling around me.

This time last year I would depend on the people around me to find love, which is never a bad thing. Although now I would say I have a definite increase in love for myself. Learning more about who I am, not who I would strive to be for others. I now understand that losing friends and lovers is okay, healthy even. Life is all about living & changing constantly.

As time proceeded, I have become much more independent. The person I have grown into is so visibly different from the person I was last year, and I have come to accept the person I am becoming.

Accepting change is love.

Changing in itself is love.

As you or the people you love continue to change and grow, its okay to admit that being apart of their life isn’t whats best. Love is more than just holding on, its knowing when its the right time to cut some slack. I know for a fact I was in love last year. The happiness that this person brought to me was something I could only dream of. We are both in the peak of change, and I now realize that we have grown out of each other…and that is okay.

Letting go of that deep love was heartbreaking, but I now understand why it needed to happen. I find peace in knowing that I will be happier, and I will find that kind of love again.

I’m changing, I’m growing, I’m moving around and trying to figure out who I am & what I want to do with my life. I know what I need to work on in myself, I must be patient and know that these changes will come whether I like them or not. Changing things about yourself to what you feel is the best for you, is loving yourself. You have control over that, and, although it may come with time, you will continue to grow into the person you choose to be.

Peace & Love,

Riza